Hard is the life of a god

His excellence Kawaii, heir to a fine line of siamese Fish, considered his schedule for today with care. It was a busy, tight schedule, as usual - but no one ever said being a cat was easy. Well, perhaps a couple of people had said that. okay, so maybe a whole lot of people had said that, some of them repeatedly. But that was not the point. People were usually wrong - some of them, just for instance, would say that the Kawaii spent his day doing nothing but idly sleeping, eating and nothing else, while actually he had so many other tasks he hardly ever found time to sleep, eat or noth.

The day started early in the morning - 4:30, to be exact. The Kawaii would start the day with his morning chores - walking across the sleeping Cat Fish's face, and then going over to Mom and Dad Fish's room. Those were carefully picked - after much thought, it was decided that Dad Fish was the less of a felinephile in the whole family, and so he was chosen to bear the burden of all humanity. After meawing loudly for 15 minutes near Dad Fish's left ear, the mentioned human would get up and open the door for the Kawaii to go out. Kawaii then will presently go back in through the livingroom window.

From 8 to 11:30 AM, he would get smarter. Then he'd have a lunch break, and keep doing the same until 2 PM, when he'll stop for a much-needed rest. on 4 PM he'd check on the house, and whether (unlike some humans, the Kawaii was accurate in his spelling) Poly the dog is still alive. Only then will he settle for the real hard work of the day - determining the weather. For this you should know, that the Kawaii, in addition to being a cat, is also a mighty rain god; the winds bow to him; the clouds cower before him. His and his alone are the decisions of weather, which he makes without hesitations, judging by nothing but his conscience, the country's need, and the quality of cat food. This would take a while.

After taking care of the weather, he'd take another brief period of getting smarter, and then go defend his neighbourhood against other cats - which lasts for most of the night. Not once nor twice did the Kawaii come home with a limp or a bad eye, but his head was always held high; you should have seen the other cat. Then, Only then, will the rain god finally settle for licking and his 18 hours of sleep.

The great Kawaii gazed upon his kingdom in satisfaction. So, cats have easy lives, they said? Well, just wait and see. See how they'd like a local rain on their day at the beach.