Crash! Boom! Bang!

Okay now. Crash. David Cronenberg's latest creation. Hmmm. This is a tough one. It's unquestionable that it deserves a place of honor in the top 11 best & worst movies of the year; the problem is, I really can't decide as which one. It's not that the movie is sloppy, or that it's not effective, it's just the topic. The whole, um, story, of the movie, is just, eh, revolves around, um, I mean, the main theme of this movie is, eh...

Well basically, it's about people fucking in cars.

"Charming man," he said. "I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one ..."
"You wouldn't need to," said Ford. "They've got as much sex appeal as a road accident."

- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Well obviously, there are some people who think road accidents are sexy. Otherwise, why does every single action movie have at least one of those?

well no one of the people that Crash in real life, crash into Holly or Rosanna.

Important point... and I admit that driving back home from this movie was a little scary. But the movie itself, is a bit, how to say it...

well you can always say it's a very good movie about people who crash with their cars, well in anything, mess their bodies and fuck everything they can lay their hands on. or you can say that it's a movie that the one who created it needs to, and very fast, get some professional help.

Oh yeah. A little professional help would do good to Cronen, who is also responsible for monstrosities such as "The Fly" and "Videodrome", which is a serious candidate for the title of The Weirdest Movie Ever Made.

i think he is the only one that have more trouble in his sex life then me. (well, in a second thought, NOT)

Stop misleading the readers, you don't have any trouble in your sex life. You just don't have one.

and you don't think it's troubling enough? let me see, i like girls, i like fairies, i slept with my x-boyfriend, i fell in love with my best friend (girl). do you think i should send my resume to David for his next movie?

No, I think you should get a TV show of your own. But let me guest-star.

By the way, are we still talking about the movie?

yes, of course. don't you think my life is a Crash?

Do you want to hear about my life?

if you don't mind - we have a movie to write about. and well, i have just 80 years left to live....

Pesimist. I should have known, 'we have a movie here...' you can brag about your life, but I can't. You're gonna pay for this. Now where the hell were we?!

i think we're still in the beginning. if you like to see some blood, if you like to see some blondes, and most important, if you have a very strong stomach, you should go and give "Crash" a try.

A guy on my ship said it brilliantly, even though he was speaking of a different movie: It's one of these movies that you either leave in the middle, or stay till the end.

they're a real smart bunch, your shipmates, no?