Eating time at Pizza Hut

"Smoking or no-smoking?" asked the waitress.

"Smoking" said May.

"No smoking" said I.

We exchanged glances. we know how to do that so people around us will think we're exchanging some secret information between us in glance only, but actually we just do it for fun.

"Don't you have any table that's right on the border of the smoking and no-smoking areas?" I asked.

"We should have gone to McDonalds" May mumbled.

"No way" I said as we sat down. May pulled out a cigarette. I hate it when she smokes. It doesn't fit with my perspective of life, not to mention her online character.

"Actually I think we got it wrong" I said. "You're the one sitting in the non-smoking part."

"Really?" May peeked around to check if the police were around. "Hehe. Fooled them. But you're a law-keeping citizen. Now you have to smoke too."

"In the name of Amanda, why?"

"You're sitting in the smoker's section, aren't you?"

"Good grief, you're right!" I said, stricken with terror, "Quick, let's turn the table before we both go to jail." we went through the trouble of turning the table, but then we discovered that we were both still sitting in the same places.

"Space is twisted in this place" I mused. "It's an all-mall defect. The halls behind the walls prove it.

"I want tomatoes and olives and that guy is really scary" May said.

"I want tuna. what guy?"

I accidentally dropped the salt so I can bend down to pick it up and look at the guy sitting behind me. "Of course he's scary. He's dead."

"Really? I thought dead people don't eat pizza."

"What made you think that? You can see he's dead by his empty gaze - see, he never blinks - and the lack of flesh between his skin and the bones of his fingers. Besides, nobody would want to be seen alive with that kind of haircut."

May nodded slowly, fascinated. "I didn't know they let them out at this hour. I thought all dead people were kept in cemeteries or something."

I lost interest. "Don't be silly, it's one of life's most profound pairs."

"What is?"

"Pizza and Tuna. What's better than pizza with tuna?"

"Sex. And Chocolate."

"I really hope you meant each of these things separately."

May tilted her head non-commitedly. "And most other things in the world as well. Pizza and Tuna don't mix!"

"Of course they do!"

"No they don't!"

"Say -" I asked the bypassing waitress - "Do Pizza and Tuna mix?"

"You're asking me?!" she said, "I can't comment or recommend anything. everything's good here."

"Yeah, I'm sure, but personally - do you think it works?"

"I really can't say..."

"What, do they make you sign a contract so you'll never recommend anything?"

"Yeah" she said with a sigh. "And they also make us remember the history of Pizza Hut by heart.

"Oh really?!" I finally found the use for the mysterious sheet of paper that fast food restaurants always place on the table in front of you, usually with their history printed on it. I grabbed it. "Okay. In what City did the first Pizza Hut Open?"

"Wichita, Kansas" replied the waitress immediately and looked smug.

"Not bad" I said. But that was easy. "Lessee... in what year was the personal Pan Pizza introduced?"

"Red, don't bother the woman" May said.

"Umn, 1980?" the waitress said.

"Eeeee! Wrong! 1983. Okay, just one more question..."

"Run now while he's busy" May said to the waitress, who didn't hesitate to follow her advice. "And some water please!" she called after her.

I protested strongly, and claimed that torturing waitresses could buy us another 10 minutes or so. But as it happened, we found other entertainment.