Our Platform

Botnim (tentative name) is an independent party formed on the 1.1.1999 by Ms. May Little (It's pronounced "My" for crying out loud!) for the benefit, welfare and safety of the Izzy people. We promise, if elected, to provide solutions to problems that the other major parties never took seriously enough but which have critical influence on the quality of living of the individual in Iz, as well as everywhere else. The following is a partial list of issues we promise to pursue, once elected.

And in Hebrew it's much funnier.
 

Freedom of Speech and Human rights

The Botnim Party (tentative name) believes in a person's basic right to act as weird, unusual, odd, uncommon or stupid as he or she pleases, as long as he or she doesn't hurt another by doing so. We also believe sanity is overrated.

A person may live in whatever belief he likes and practice whatever rituals he deems right, as long as he doesn't hurt another by doing so or try to force his belief upon another.

A person may have relations or marry who- or what- ever he/she likes, as long as it is done at both side's approval.

the right to vote shall be denied of criminals found guilty of serious crimes such as murder and rape, because we really don't see why we should consider the opinion of scumbags.

Cats are people, too.

Local phonecalls should be free of charge.

A person may speak his or her opinion, however stupid that opinion may be, as long as he expresses it at a reasonable volume and without repeating him or her self more than 13 times.

An Alien Embassy shall be established in Jerusalem. A committee for the aliens' rights shall be established.
 

Quality of Living in the Land of IZ

August shall be cancelled immideately and replaced by something more interesting and less hot.

Taco Bell shall be brought to Iz immideately and replace half the McDonalds in the land of Iz. If possible, the Chihuahua shall join the government.

By law, there would be at least ten days of snow a year. Years that will not follow this rule will be punished to the maximum extent of the law.

The letter shall be cancelled.

BF and Bunch'o'Crunch shall be brought to Iz at the whim of the new Prime Minister, who claims that she deserves that much for all the good she brings to the country.

The Dinosaurs shall be brought back.

The annoying buzzing noise neon lamps make shall be cancelled.

Radio and TV stations will not be allowed to play the same song more than 80 times an hour, or 40 if the song includes the rhyme "Hands in the air/Just don't care".

Cigarettes shall be outlawed and joints legalized instead.

To encourage the public's interest in the house of representatives, a monthly house meeting shall be held in which each member of the house will tell a joke.
 

Cinema rules

The Botnim Party are strong followers of the art form of the cinema and will do everything in our power to the greater benefit of this neglected art form.

Half the income of TV stations shall be redirected to Izzy filmmakers, as long as they promise to only make good movies.

In addition to the system restricting movies according to the age of the viewer, a new system will be enforced that would rate movies according to IQ. Movies will be divided into 3 categories: G, PG-75 and PG-100 . A person who's IQ is 78, for example, will not be permitted into a PG-100 movie, and especially not permitted to sit right behind us, stick his knees in our backs, make idiotic remarks, laugh in the wrong places and talk on his cellular phone during the movie.

The prices of drinks and snacks offered in the lobby shall be put under the surveillance of a special committee, thus not allowing them to charge 50$ for a rotten cup of gasless coke.

The hebrew words "Katlani", "Gorali" and "Met mits'hok" would be banned out of movie names unless proven that they were there in the film's original title. This felony is punishable by forced viewing of all the israeli movies ever made.

Meir Schnitzer shall be allowed not to watch movies since he obviously doesn't like it and we don't want to hurt anyone.
 

Education and Welfare

Penguins belong in Antarctica.

School shall be upgraded. ("Upgrading" is a computer term meaning taking what you have now, throwing it in the general direction of the nearest dumpster and obtaining a new and better one instead)

A person may not become a school teacher unless proved that:
A. His or her presence may be beared by reasonably sane people for more than an hour
B. His or her voice does not have significant negative effect over the hearer's nerve system
C. He or she does not pursue sadism as a hobby
D. He or she speak Hebrew (or any other language spoken by 90% of the students in the given class)
Also, the secret military program of deploying robots as school teachers shall be stopped immediately.

For the benefit of our future generation's sanity, the use of olive-green paint for school doors and/or tables shall be banned.

A person may not work as a traffic cop unless he or she has proved that he or she knows the rules of traffic.