It wouldn't have happened if I had better things to do.

"Aren't you studying?" Israel asked me.

"I'm tired" I replied, "And besides, what's to study?"

"Electronics test is in two days."

"I've been to the class."

"And that's enough?"


 
 
 
 
 
 
 "Why not? It's not like I have to memorize anything. Electrons will be electrons. They're pretty predictable."

"I thought the guy said that you can never really know where an electron would go next."

"Well, not a single one. But as a group, they always swarm in one direction. They're like that. Stupid little things. If I was an electron, and I was sitting around minding my own business in some cable, and all of the sudden all those electrons started swarming in from the north and moving south like a herd of sheep, first thing I'd do is go northwards to find out what was so great about that direction that made them all be there in the first place."

Israel, who's not so used to my views of life and psychics, said, "And that sums your understanding of the nature of electronics?" he eventually said.

"That pretty much sums my understanding of the nature of everything."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm still going to study. Can you at least give me some help with these exercises?"

I did, and for the next couple of minutes we tried to overcome a few puzzling questions together. The questions themselves were actually pretty easy - the puzzling part was the unspoken addition to each of them: "Why?"

Seriously, people, why would anyone connect eight lightbulbs parallel to a whatchamacallit with a what's-his-face of under 80%?

"You're getting much too philosophical about this" Israel said. "I dont think the condition of Quality will be in the test. Volts and Watts would be enough."


 
 
  		"Yeah, okay. So, speaking in Volts, the answer here would be 3.2 . You got it?"

"Yup. I really think I did" Israel said with a satisfied smile, "You're very Efficient, Fish."

"Thank you very much. You'll handle things yourself from now on?"

"No, I think I'm through with Electronics for today. Anything good on TV?"

"There's only one way to find out."

He turned on the TV.


TV and me had always had a love-hate relationship. I never really liked it and I was pretty proud of generally not having any idea what's on when. But that, of course, doesn't mean I won't slap you forcefully if you disturb my higher state of being during Ally McBeal, or that I don't tape the Simpsons with religious devotion. But as for most of the rest, I don't know what's going on there, and don't care much, either. So in the beginning I didn't even want to bring a TV to our rented room at Emuville, where me and my roommate, Israel, reside while studying at Holy College nearby. In the unlikely case I'll have nothing to do, I thought, I'll just read a book.

However, since I came to learn in Holy College I found myself, surprisingly, with plenty of disconnected spare time. Unexpectedly, studies turned out to be pretty easy, so I don't spend too much time cramming; On the other hand, I don't have a computer in my room, so that rules out most of my other standard options for passing the time. I tried staring at walls - several friends recommended that - but the walls of my room turned out to be of poor quality and could hardly hold my attention for more than 10 minutes. Of course, I have some reading material (Thomas Covenant, Poor guy, came by a third time around. That guy has real problems with his conceptions of reality) but seriously, you can't expect me to just lie down and read for 6 hours a day. And that leaves the Other option - TV. I've been watching a lot of it lately. I've discovered, to my surprise, that it's usually more interesting than the walls.

As it turned out, there was nothing good on TV. Just the news. There was nothing good on the news, either, just politics.

I can't stand politics.

I can't stand them for several reasons. They're usually pretty boring, and people get really angry when discussing them. I don't like talking to angry people, and I don't like to argue about stuff that I don't know much about. I don't know much about politics, because I can't stand them.



 
 
But, as I said, I was watching a lot of TV lately, and watching TV these days is watching a lot of politics. It always is, but you can avoid it if you try. Right now, it's extremely hard to. The thing is, a month ago my beloved and cherished leaders at the House of Representatives of the Land of Iz, or rather, it's prime minister, NethanYahoo or something, better known as BB, finally realized what every sensible human being had already known a year ago - that we can't go on like that, and decided on holding early elections. The reasons that brought the house to a Like That situation are very complicated, but mostly it was because of the prime minister's extreme lack of qualification for the job. Just for stating that simple fact, there are already several people who want to kill me. See why I don't like talking about it?

And here the fun started. They set up a date - the 17th of May, I think - and started going on their elections routine. the papers , along with their usual "THINGS ARE THE WORST EVER!!!" headlines started publishing amusing "If elections were held today, who would you vote for?" polls, and politicians stopped ignoring the public and started getting themselves into every corner on TV.

First, it fills up the news. Last month a plane crashed in thailand and some 900 people were killed. I know, because it was mentioned in the news, in two sentences, between twenty-seven minutes of reports on everything General Lightning had said about BB that day, what BB said about General Lightning, and how Captain Skies just keeps on saying nothing at all, and a cornflakes commercial (I love that robot). The only reason it was mentioned at all is that there were a couple of Izzies among the survivors. They also showed a 6-second film clip. At least I think it was about that plane crash, it was pretty hard to tell.

Then there are the Talk-Shows. Too many of them. There are those that are dedicated solely to politics, by definition containing nothing but pointless political discussion ("Good evening, dear viewers. Today I have in the studio with me a right-wing faschist, a Left-Wing dweeb and a stinkin' penguin. Waaaaaaaah!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Eeeeeeeee!!! Shut up! Aaaaaaaaaa! Eeeeeeeee! Ooooooooo!! Thank you for watching, please join us next week at the same time."), who only get more noisy during election-time, but there are also the normal ones ("Good evening, dear viewers. Today I have with me in the studio a man with a fascinating story to tell, a pop singer who's just released a new album, a guy from hollywood, a politician and a woman with big boobs. I'm afraid we're out of time, please join us again next week.") I try not to watch them.

Then there are the Specials. Last week I tuned in at 7:30 for The Simpsons, after calling home to make sure Blue Fish was taping it on our 12th Simpsons tape. I watched for 20 minutes, thinking it was not as funny as usual, before realizing it wasn't the simpsons but the Labour Party assembly, broadcasted live. That really got on my nerves. Okay, I realize that this assembly is critical for the selection of the Labour's candidate for Prime Minister, who may be elected and make fatal decisions concerning the fate of the entire nation and so may have a vital effect on my life, but hell, at 7:30 on Wednesday, I want my Simpsons!!!


So where was I? There was something political on TV. I started to watch it but couldn't find out where to start. "Who's that guy?" I asked.

"The next Prime Minister, probably" Israel said.

"Damn! After I spent all that time writing about the people in the race!"

"What?"

"Lightning and BB and Skies. I thought it was going to be one of them."

"That was a week ago!"

"I thought that was, you know, the situation!"

"The situation changed."

"Can't it stay the way it is for a while? It's impossible to follow. It's like a daily soap opera, you miss one chapter and you're lost."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I understand everything."

"That's probably the reason people watch these things. It's a soap. They pick they favorite character and follow it."

"I'm trying to watch TV."

"They don't really care about opinions or anything. It's a matter of life and death, but they - what are you doing? I thought you were watching that."

"I can't, with you talking. What's this green stuff?"

"Iraq is being bombed."


"I think they're using the same footage they did in the war" Israel said.

"Of course they are. Do you think they'd send someone to stand out in the street with a camera and if a missile comes near he'd flash a reporter card and the missile would go away?"

"But isn't that cheating?"

"Not really. All american missile attacks on Baghdad looks pretty much the same. Green." I watched the screen for a while. "God, it's hypnotizing." The warful green scenery was distrupted by a march of people with signs saying "Go Monica!'

"Those idiots like her a lot considering that it's her fault they're being bombed."

"Not really."

"Yes Really!"

"Your'e saying Clinton bombs Baghdad just so people will have something else to talk about than him and Monica?"

"Yes."

"It doesn't make sense."

"It's political."

"I still don't get it. There are a plenty of wars going on, why does he have to start a new one?"

"They can't just watch some other war. They want him to be involved."

"Why!?"

"Because then he might also say something about Monica."

"That doesn't make any sense at all!"

Israel got up. And grabbed his Atlas of the universe. "It's really hard to watch TV with you, you know?"

"Where are you going with that book?"

"To the bathroom. Nothing beats reading about the universe while taking a crap."

"Is that a political statement?"

"If it was, you wouldn't understand it, would you?"

"That's the first thing you've said today that makes sense." I said and kept watching. I'll get it eventually.